The light follows darkness

01:01 am

So my boyfriend's team won every single game at the tournament, it was pretty fun ! :) So they can go to Vegas in a couple of years. I interviewed at a private company the past few days so I'm waiting to hear from them. Not too worried though, they want me so whatevs. I guess it helps that the VP forwards your resume to HR for you.

Anyways, so I'll get to quit before my term is over, I'll make less money but at least I won't be slowly killing myself away in the public service.

Also, I've been accepted by a supervisor to do a PHD in plant virology in Summerland, BC next year , funded so that'll be so awesome. It's Kelowna area, where we get a bunch of fruit. I'm stoked about that, it'll be awesome living there after being in this shithole for 28 years. I really need a change of scenery.

Spiderman-3 was good, I just saw it tonight :)

12:22 am

Oh yeah I'm going to saskatoon for a hockey tournament this weekend. hockey guys are hot!

11:29 pm - Drunken LJ post

I'm usually on facebook now so I don't post anything. I think it was easier to post things when I was younger. It was more faceless and you could bitch about the people that make you unhappy in real life but you can't seem to get away from.

I don't know.

Either way, here's a post. I hate my fucking job, am finding a way to get out of it. I can't unfortunately quit right away because I'm paying for my car. And no, it's not anything fancy, an echo and I got it for environmental reasons because that's who I fucking am. I grew up in Wolseley and even if I didn't, I still hope I'd turned out this way. YOu know, miserable and depressed all the time because human beings are so fucking pathetic at securing their environment and their future.

Anyways, lately I've been clinically depressed because of my job, I'm trying to get out, but seems to be a slow process. I basically feel like a piece of shit every single day I'm there, though I train a lot of new ppl all the time.

Darren's hockey team is winning so I'm going to attempt to take friday off. Not sure if I'll be allowed to or not, don't really give a fuck at this point. I haven't felt like I've needed medication in years but I definitely need it now. I won't do it though. I'll just drink occasionally and honestly three beers at a hockey game is alright, they won the championship!! :)

Other than that my life is boring. Check me out on facebook :)

09:59 pm - Car Accident

I was in a car accident today, with Darren's car. Rather I caused the accident. Pfft, my first accident, my back and knee is fuckedup, so I'll probably have to go to the doctor tomorrow to get it checked out. Car=totaled. My boss helped look at it, since he's the only man in our lab right now. :(, so at least it's good to know he's still cool like that. *sigh*. Anyhow, I can't even tell Darren directly because the internet and long distance in Kenya is a pain in the butt, but he called me at work a few days ago.

Oh yeah, so I drove the car home thinking it would be okay, almost home (I live on River) and the hood flew right up, onto the fucking front windshield. I freaked out majorly twice today. I started crying and shit, fuck it sucked cuz I never cry anymore. and it's worse when you can't control it. So that 700 bucks I saved this month for school in the fall, 400 will go towards me getting in this accident. I'm pretty mad at myself, and the car will get written off I'm sure. Someone else's car too. Oh well, I'm an idiot.

I feel okay though. Sad as it seems, I think this accident made me realize a bunch of things, such as, priorities in life. I really wish Darren was here though.

In other news, Sweet Pea is getting some red on her forehead already. She's awesome, she's a bit less dependent now, as in plays a few feet away from me for a few minutes instead of sitting on me 24-7. I'm looking forward to getting her a friend in a few weeks so she's not that dependent on me. I think this is good practice for a baby because she's been sooooooo needy.

I hope I don't wake up super fucked up tomorrow :(.

02:36 pm - I finally got my dig cam back :D

( the little budgie that was gonna be snake food )

Current Mood: hungry

10:33 pm - Alright, who's going to go do this with me?

Cleanup Name:

Assiniboine River - Assiniboine Park & Zoo New volunteers welcome. 2006-09-16 at 10:00 (no map)

Registration link

The TD Canada Trust Great Canadian Shoreline Cleanup is about removing garbage from ALL shorelines. It includes rivers, lakes, ponds, streams and wetlands. According to Canada’s National Programme of Action for the Protection of the Marine Environment from Land-Based Activities (NPA), 80% of the debris that ends up on our coastal shores originates inland. This underscores the need to remove garbage before it enters our rivers and lakes.
( more background )

12:46 pm

I cannot emphasize enough, how much everyone NEEDS to see this movie. It is a documentary and it will change the way you think.

12:33 am

All the superficial doubts I was having evaporated. I know I was high the other night when I was saying to people he could be the one, but I really think that it is highly possible. I feel pretty good right now, let's see how work goes tomorrow...:P.

Also, I spent most of yesterday with my mom and we were actually getting along. I was still feeling 'open' so I told her a bunch of things about myself and she seemed pretty cool about it.

A few years ago, I stopped picturing life beyond 28-30, because I didn't plan on going past then. Now, it's like a whole new world has opened up to me, where I'm not as hedonistic because I see all the possibilities that other people are able to acheive. Getting my tattoo in less than 48 !

Current Mood: happy

12:49 pm

Life is amazing.

04:23 am

I <3 everything and yes I'm sober.

Current Mood: satisfied

04:49 pm - Fuck Exxon.

Global Warming

Hrmm.. I was reading about Hugo Chavez, and we, as a capitalist continent, think social programs are the way to go. So, Chavez is hailed as Che's children and things like this. But, after reading what Venezuelans think of him directly, it doesn't seem that socialism is so great. I'm no expert, but maybe it's time to become one....

06:19 pm

Please Vote. I don't even care who you vote for (well if you vote conservative, then you've made a democratic choice to allow less rights, but ANYWAY)..haha, please VOTE ! :)

Ps- I've actually considered quitting if Harper is my new boss....although not right away, I don't have that kind of financial security!

11:16 pm

I have one more episode of Smallville to watch and I'm caught up, woohoo! I made a pizza today so I'm proud of myself and well, today is one of those I wish I didn't feel so alone days. Don't get me wrong, I like being alone most of the time, but I really wish I had someone to do things with, everyone else seems to, and not necessarily a significant other, but like just 'someone'.

Oh well..boohoo for me. pfft.

In other words , I'm definitely getting extended and I'm getting a 10 grand raise, so it's not all boohoo I guess.

Current Mood: sad

01:50 am

It's all over. sorry.

I know you don't care anyway.

01:20 pm

Credit goes to crimson_valleys

12:38 pm

I was walking through the hallway at school (RRC) from working out and feeling super great and guess what they were playing on the campus radio! THAT'S RIGHT HIM! wicked game so here I am to give you some pictures, I'm still going to type out the rest of the trip because the show was only one amazing highlight. I'm sure nothing can bring me down really right now!



( this site sucks but more pics ahead (hopefully)! )

12:50 pm

Well, those conservative motherfuckers to the south make me sick to my stomach.

Promotion of someone who profits directly from war, how disgusted I feel currently.

What's the point of even caring about anything anymore when the people with the most power are screwing up what existence is about, not to mention their unbelievable stupidity.

People were saying they hope there's a civil war if Bush wins again. I figured I was against the idea, but maybe violence would be the only way to remove someone who only promotes a violent world. Although I have my own violent issues, I don't care about rich people to be the ones to inflict it.

Seriously this is huge trouble and I'm so glad I don't live in the states.

Current Mood: enraged

06:57 pm

( my mood can best be expressed with a picture )

12:28 am

I stare at EXIT signs and dream.

Current Mood: gloomy

03:01 am - FLASH YOUR BIOS. just do it.

I have a few things on my mind. I feel a little better after seeing a couple of awesome friends. I will never see nightstalker, I'm convinced of this. My body is fighting/flighting all day for the past few days. This means my nervous system is majorly fucked. My guts are complaining all fucking day and I HATE THEM. Disembowlment seems like it might be an option sometimes. I'll live unfortunately. ;).

when the universe will end

I'm trying to figure out if I want to put up with the hassle of my family to have a car this weekend. I guess I do though. I wish the ghetto mobile wasn't so scary in winter, because it uses so little gas and it's awesome because it has a tape player that doesn't work. You know you all love it. 0bscured if you can get your car on saturday that would be really awesome because my brother is writing the LSAT that day and I can't blame him for wanting to go out afterwards.

I'm a horrible person and I'm starting to feel it. So I better fix that shit up. I mean I tipped the guy who put my gas in five bucks on the weekend. I don't think that would counter any of my horribleness, but it was quite ironic that I did. Because the ghetto mobile choose to not start after I got gas and I was totally alone. When it was happening, I sat there thinking, I totally deserve this. This is all my fault, but the guy who I had just tipped noticed that something was wrong and totally helped me. Man, I was lucky. It was 2:30 AM in the ghetto, and it was about -40 (or so) out. I meant to mention that. That would have really sucked. So now I'm afraid to take the ghetto car anywhere.

Anyway, I'm sortof looking forward to this weekend. All I know is I keep hearing really cheesy dance songs like "bad boy, come play with me for a while" (i dont know the actual song title) and cheesy techno on the radio and I realized I need to dance on friday. I don't have my morning lab anymore so I won't be completely burnt out = awesome.

Ick, I got the impression that someone I DO NOT want to be with might have been scoping me out tonight. That would suck. I hate dealing with that stuff sometimes. I'm not interested in this person and I just don't want to feel like I'm getting set up with them. It was extremely entertaining to watch all of the gay stuff on kids in the hall while this homophobic person was around though. :D.

I hate Christopher Columbus I think. There is nothing more fucking annoying than trying to find some Indian stuff and being bombarded by 'native' stuff. GOD. IT'S FUCKING 500 YEARS LATER.

okay, anyway I started this hours ago but i'm going to drop it here though I have tons more on my mind.

here's the daily link brought you to you by drexlspivey
http://www.sonic-boom.com/industrial/

oh yeah I almost threw up today. I had to mentally tell myself to stop it. It sucked, it reminded me of the goddamn lithium. I hope my channels are replaced with sodium. I don't want that crap in me. I almost barfed the other day too=wtf. No more anxiety thanks brain. Now.

Thanks to fagorz for the link for this
Your first name of Amrit has given you a studious nature, and the ability to concentrate on whatever you are doing. You could excel in mathematics or in positions where persistence, independence, and individuality are required. In personal associations, a lack of finesse in verbal expression often creates misunderstandings with others, especially with those close to you, because you find it difficult and embarrassing to express depth of feeling when situations arise requiring diplomacy, understanding, and affection.

( my god )

Current Mood: envious